[Archive] Recent Insights On Shutting The Fuck Up - Rewok

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[Archive] Recent Insights On Shutting The Fuck Up - Rewok

Postby Martin D. » Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:19 pm

by Rewok Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:51 am

I've got a wicked sun-burn.

In fact, I'm peeling and gross and my girlfriend finds me sexier
than ever.

(She's a freak)

And I got this sun-burn chilling on a beach in Florida, while
visiting my parents.

What's this got to do with you? Simple:

On this trip, I ran across a book titled "How To Win Friends
And Influence People, 1980's Revised Version"

Now, I've heard a LOT of good things about this book,
so I decided to read it.

And I highly recommend you do, too, because it EASILY
contains everything you need to know to make people
in general like you.

(As far as being awesome with women... That's mostly
fine tuning)

HERE'S THE POINT:

In this book, there are two chapters which really rub
me the "right" way.

They're called something like:

* Make Other People Feel Important

and

* Be A Great Listener

And these are two GIANT throw-backs to my
"older" school pickup mindsets.

You see, I'm an introvert by nature.

I dislike talking to people, in person. Especially
strangers.

I know I come across very confident, but in person
- it's practiced, and online - it's because I love
to write.

So when I started getting good with women, my focus
was:

"How Do I Get Women To Like Me, Without
Having To 'Impress' Her, Or Do A Lot Of
Talking?"

And I - quickly - Learned that shutting the fuck up
was a GREAT way to meet women.

Here's why:

As a rule, all humans want to feel IMPORTANT.

No, not necessarily like rock stars. And not
always "above" or "over" anyone.

Simply, if you walk down the average street,
and talk to the average person - then pay
him an average compliment...

... You'll have MADE HIS DAY, 99% of the
time.

Because people like to feel good. To feel
important. To feel sexy, beautiful, interesting,
funny.

So if you can make another person feel
sexy, beautiful, interesting or funny,
they're going to like you.

It's simple association.

There's a great story in the book, where Dale
Carnegie talks about meeting a botanist at a
party.

And he's FASCINATED by this botanist, because
his profession is so unique.

So he asks him questions. He gives him genuine
compliments. And he LISTENS for 2 hours without
saying a serious string of words.

Then at the end of the night, this botanist
introduces Dale to his wife as "the best
conversationalist he's ever met"

... When all he did, was let the other man
EXPRESS himself.

HERE'S HOW THIS APPLIES TO WOMEN:

Since reading this book, I've started to apply
it more in my life.

Especially using what I learned about listening
and women for MYSELF in the last few years.

In fact, last night I was at a party with my
girlfriend and a whole handful of her friends,
as well as people she works with, etc...

So I put these three theories to work:

* People like people who listen

* People like people who are INTERESTED
in them

* People like people who remember their
NAMES

At the end of the night, every man in that
place knew my name, and wanted to see
me again for drinks or to hang out.

... And - not to brag, but to tell the truth -
I could've walked home with ANY of her
friends, ANY of their girlfriends or
ANY other girl there.

Plain and simple.

I know this because last night my girl
took me home and gave me "I Better Fuck
You REAL Good, So My Friends Don't
Steal You" lovin'...

... And I enjoyed every second of it

The key to remember here is that once
you do the required three - five minutes
of chatting to get her "warmed up"
and talking, just sit back and
listen.

Let her feel important.

Ditch your ego.

And make OTHER people's day, instead
of your own.

As long as your concious of your escalation,
and don't let windows close, you'll do much
better than you usually think.

Even guys I know who are (by percentage)
big talkers - Guys like Orleans and Vin -
Still do the "talking" roughly 50% of the
time.

And guys like me and a few other people
I know talk less. Much less.

I'd say once I get her going, I probably
do 20% of the talking. And most of it
is to get her passionate or excited
about what she's saying.

At the end of the night, you'll be
more relaxed, she'll be more intrigued
and you're still going home with her.

(Plus there are other skill advantages
like relative investment, and other
nuances you don't need to know about
right now)

So what's my point?

Why did I write this big, long post?

Basically to remind you that we're in the
PEOPLE business: The business of making
PEOPLE like you.

So next time someone's telling you about
their car, or their job, or their vacation
to Guam...

... Stop thinking about how to impress
or relate, and just listen. Make her
feel important.

You'll be amazed at the results.

Discussion welcome.

<3 Daddy
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Martin D.
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